“I find in myself a desire…”

Do you ever have those times when nothing seems to satisfy you? You have an incredible sense of loneliness and you don’t know why. Your heart feels so empty, it just wants to rip open, to shatter into a million pieces, but it can’t and so it just sits in agony. You want to be around people but people just let you down…you want to talk to someone but they don’t understand…you want to hear words that will comfort you and tell you what you should do, but words are just as empty as your heart is. The sun’s out, but you see darkness, the birds are singing but you hear an eerie silence. You smile, but it’s just a fake, you laugh but it’s comes out a cry, in one last attempt at something, you breath…you just breathe…but the breath you take hurts. You desire something but you don’t know what. You don’t know anything because you can’t really feel much. You’re scared and alone…could it be as C.S.Lewis said?  “I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy; the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world.”It’s hard to see the ending of the storm when everything is dark. There’s never going to be a rainbow. It’s hard to try to figure out why God would make us go through this…I wonder if He’s just reminding us that we aren’t of this world. We WERE created for Heaven, created to live with God forever. These feelings are miserable and so painful…but maybe, just maybe tomorrow we can wake up feeling so alive and then just realize how amazing our God really is! Maybe we’ll be able to see the sun shining and feel its warmth, hear the birds singing and sing a song of our own, smile, laugh and truly be joyful…and breath and feel more alive then we ever have.

 I don’t know…

  

thanks for reading!

<♥always~Ella>